TODAY IN MEDIA OUTLETS YOU SHOULD NOT READUs vs. them: Sex advice for the social awkward.

There is a blog out there about Northwestern and it is not this one! It is the home of "Northwestern's best bloggers." There was a contest, or something? Anyways, that's sort of like saying Pinkberry's all-natural, you know? So, from time to time, we try to discern differences between them and us.

There's a reason such subjects are verboten around here. One is our readers are not so socially awkward. (You're assholes! We know.) Secondly, if I were to post about how to get laid if you're socially awkward, it would read like this:

Masturbation is normal!

Over in the hinterlands, they've got some other suggestions. Let's abbreviate, shall we?

Guys should take classes in sesp! Girls should take guys out on dates! Join a campus activist group! (Ed.'s note: What is this, Sarah Lawrence?) Meet people from other colleges! Try Craigslist!

Ok. PSA, people. Do not look for sex on Craigslist. That's how people like Willie the Wildcat, Northwestern's finest blogger, and author of this post, are born.

Even the socially awkward can get laid [CollegeOTR]

TODAY IN MEDIA OUTLETS YOU SHOULD NOT READCollege OTR and the inevitable BYOB piece

There will come a time for the full story of how Dickson and I were enticed with a line of dildos in bespoke flavors and colors to write for CollegeOTR, the nationwide "on the record" college blog. [Ed.'s note: A gossipdesk-flavored phallus? Um, tasty?] For now, it is time to chronicle another media empire crumbling before its time.

Stop with the comparisons. Whatever passing resemblance we have to this upstart is moot. First it was making fun of freshmen facebook photos, which omg omg omg we would never do. But festooning your posts with retarded art to spice up your shitty copy? New lows, people, new lows.

So. The piece in question was penned, anonymously, by "willie el gato silvestre," which means Willie the Wildcat in Spanish. While some would write off any iota of his integrity and confidence from that alias alone, I will press on.


Which are Willie the Wildcats' favorite BYOBs? Let's guess, shall we? Could it be... yes! Cozy Noodles takes spot #1. What with such trailblazing penmanship Willie, I think I'll be reading CollegeOTR every day.

Moving on. #2 is Olive Mountain, which besides being, by all accounts, rather overpriced and mediocre, is allegedly a Northwestern professor's hangout. I wouldn't know, and I wouldn't want to drink around them.

Then things really fall off the precipice of retardation. In a struggle to fill out even this rather brief post, our Wildcat includes at #5 Green Tea. A gobbet:

"This is a sushi restaurant I haven't gotten to check out yet but I'm putting it on the list since I've been told they have the best sushi in Chicago."

And you thought this was about BYOBs! Silly reader, sushi is alcoholic. Wait, what?

5 Hip Places to BYOB [CollegeOTR]