THE FRESHMENBriefly: Why there are no gays at Northwestern

Well, it's obvs because of the annual LGBT bonfire the school holds the second day of New Student Week. This year, though, compassionate planners have scheduled it for 9:30 p.m. to 11 p.m., giving charred lesbians just enough time to catch a last glimpse of CBS' upcoming season at Starbucks.

New Student Week schedule [Weinberg version]

JOHN LAVINE, TAKE THAT OFFDispatch from California: An audience with His Majesty

So yesterday I had this e-repartee with a Los Angeles-based Medill alum, and it was kind of like, Yeah, Medill. What the hell is going on?

Good question! And we had the opportunity for great answers, as the Dean of the Medill School for Journalism was stopping in Los Angeles to meet with parents, alumni and what have you. Journalism people. Onwards.

A few hours after I sent her a blistering prep sheet, I received the following report back.

"I was not impressed by him.
He was wearing a necklace. Does he always? And a long-sleeved white linen shirt buttoned to the neck with long billowing sleeves buttoned at the cuff, but the tail out---a Midwesterner's notice of tropical attire who believes that Los Angeles is the tropics.
Is he gay?
He had that vibe.
He seemed very arrogant."

Hmm, is the dean gay? He once complemented me on a shirt. Perhaps this is a question for Dickson. Dude has the gaydar of Anne Hathaway.

Anyway. What do we think about the dean these days? I promise not to solicit your comments only to ignore, obfuscate and ridicule them! Now go.