Daily roundup: Us, them and devo.

From Friday's editions:

• Are you visiting because you read this?

• A case study in The Boring Lede. Oh, Devo, when will you go quietly into the good night? Evidently not before we figure out how to develop pictures.

• Today's shocker: the housing bubble popped in Evanston, too.

• Wait, there's more: Editorial gives a "thumbs-down" to the Chicken Shack robbery. Don't mess with the men of Skokie, guys. That $600 bought more than poultry.

• The Letters to the Editor continue to offer the best critiques of the paper.

Enjoy Colbert, folks. I mean seeing him in the parade. It's not like he's going to, you know, speak.

Daily roundup: homosexuals, Jews, piñatas. Sounds like a PLAY day!

From Tuesday's playful editions:

• Now that it's hit Evanston hard, tea's no longer just dirty water.

• Turns out Searle's a real gyp. Kudos to Rebecca Huval for pitching this.

• Norris finally comes up with a cool mini-course. ¿Has tratado crear piñatas? ¡Debes!
• Forget CAs. Dorms will now have either University police officers on patrol or will be monitored by CCTV cameras. Say hi to big brother!

• Janessa Goldbeck continues to rock all the other Forum columnists.

• "Picture this: Guy meets girl at NU, three years later they marry and 27 years later they receive a Tony award." No, it's not a typo, it was 1969. But yes, we read guy meets guy, too.

• Mel, give us some more "sorry."
  

Daily roundup: Play nice, drink Busch Light and, for the love of God, don't write Devo stories (or columns)

From Monday's editions:

• Because we really need another sorority.

• The Devo story list has grown thin.

• CTECs 1, Ratemyprofessor.com 0.

• Let's all "stand in a corner at the Deuce, Busch Light in one hand, free Philly's Best pizza in the other, rocking back and forth and chanting, 'I am having fun, I am having fun …' " like Forum columnist Dave Kucinskas.

• Today's Editorial: Don't take our parking lot, Evanston. It's "not nice."

• We're not the only ones who have issues with Daily columnists. Now why on Earth would Forum editors make the letter critiquing their section the last one published?
  

Daily roundup: NU vs. Evanston, ASG vs. Flicker, limbs vs. whiskers

Friday's odd-job throwdown edition:

• Try the harmonica.

• Tech moves on from regrowing human limbs to developing human whiskers.

• The Devo Duo ante up in the increasingly caustic Evanston-NU battle royale. Seems that the overzealous city may seize the NU-owned parking lot it may want to transform into a government hub. Constitutional whoop-ass. Woot.

• Forum gives the Flicker Film Festival folks a "guest column" to open fire on ASG for wrongly accusing them of bouncing checks and reducing their budget as a result. They call it a "capricious dispensation of discipline." Egregiously lenghty sentences ensue.

• Though its headline may be an embarrasment to journalism, the Schlossberg Friday roundup remains a lovely read.
  

Daily roundup: Monday night mayhem, Scrabble goes Big Ten, Wikipedia explains all

From Tuesday's hot-off-the-presses, Aldermen-addled editions:

• The Devo duo report that the 14-year-old boy whose backyard buzzes with 12,000 bees will be allowed to keep the insects in his backyard. In a 5-4 decision, the Aldermen ignored residents who said their barefoot clover walks were now unsafe due to the possibility they might step on bees and voted to allow "hobbyist beekeeping."

• The duo also report that residents are freaking out over "secret negotiations" between the city and the university to move the seat of Evanston's government to a NU-owned parking lot. Um, guys, you reported on this last week.

• Junior campaigns to incorporate Scrabble into the fold of Big Ten sports. In other news, "completely not newsworthy" is worth 49 points. It's also a triple word score if you convince your eds to put it on the front page. (Sorry, Dan.)

• Today in Forum columnist Alec Davis: There's no need for textbooks; just "Wiki it." This does a lot to explain last week's screed about the impending downfall of American society. And, Alec, I can't tell you how glad I am that the internet did more for you as a 13-year-old than provide a free source of pornography.
  

Daily roundup: Colbert, Piven and Hungarian chicken. You pick.

The psuedo-Hollywood edition:

• Jeremy Piven's been off the Hollywood scene ever since he smeared his parents with blood after cutting his chin slobbering his Emmy. What better comeback audience than the ladies of NU, who stood in line for hours outside Pick-Staiger in hopes of sitting within eyesight of TV's most famous asshole. How things have changed since his days in Mandy Moore vehicle Chasing Amy.
• In a brilliant tactical manuever worthy of recently departed "judicial affairs" "architect" Lupita Temiquel-McMillian, NU secures Stephen Colbert for its Hollywood-themed homecoming parade. Colbert, who works in New York covering Washington, probably thinks the theme is fine by his standard of "truthiness."
• Completing today's stories from the devo duo is a ditty from Vincent Bradshaw on a woman who is teaching seniors how to use the few pennies they have left after social security checks, daiquiris and medicaid engage in epic melee to make Hungarian chicken using "dirt cheap" ingredients.

• Lest we forget the ill-begotten Forum, today's column returns the section to the wholesome perfection we first beheld this week with "American Dishwasher in Hong Kong." Writer Dan Kramer tried his best to rescue this drivel with spicy rhetoric, but fails. Miserably.

Everyone greet Kashmir, the newest member of NU's nicest blog. Her first post is below.

Daily roundup: Caffeine new trans fat, America doomed, building longs for neighbors

From Tuesday's possibly-printed, rain-soaked editions:

• Not only is your caffeine pricier, it's also deadlier when canned. Devo writers apparently can't withstand the scalding calefaction of coffee, instead choosing to rinse down the age-old beverage with gallons of pus-colored, candy-flavored energy drinks.
  
  And watch out now -- their convenience can kill ("Energy drinks contain no more caffeine than a cup of coffee, but they are easier to overdose on because of their convenience," according to two Weinberg sophs.) We'll skip the caffeine in a can, but we wish we'd been told two weeks ago about Starbucks, lads, when we heard about it in the Trib and in RedEye. We may have to return to CCI for another nickel!

• In case you were in a mine cart beneath the surface of the Earth, we had hail last night.

• Deep, deep within this idiotic polemic is the idea that our grandchildren will be migrating to Asia to find decent work due to our lounging in complacent jobs as "stock traders, marketing specialists and efficiency consultants." Dude! Global warming will totally have knocked us all off by then.

• Somebody buy this Citywatch writer a dildo. Any more tantalizing screeds about the lonely phalluses -- excuse me, skyscrapers -- of downtown Evanston and we may gag ourselves.
  

Daily roundup: Zambia remains a figment of the collective Northside imagination, pretension is so out and Skype defies linguistic boundaries

From today's menu:

• The Daily remains reasonable sure Evanstonians' African geographical ineptitude is as big as the Ngorogoro crater.

• Faux gras introduction is definitely detering seitan-chomping South Side masses from schlepping to Evanston for their fattened goose liver pate fix.

• Devo writer Kathrin Hanek flaunts the syntactical verve of an exchange student ("Skype is recently finding favor among Northwestern students") to better explain the keyboard dialings of hundreds of foreign students phoning home. No, Kathrin, we haven't Skyped anyone yet. After reading your article, we don't think you have either.
  
• Reader brands Daily's music coverage pretentious ("Because pretension is out, guys. It's so out.") Her reaction to GossipDesk remains eagerly awaited.

• And, finally, because color commentary grinds EIC Ryan P. Wenzel the wrong way like Whoa, drunken football fans at the Globe Café calmly chant, "get them, get them" after touchdowns. And yes, friends, café has an accent.