- Jeremy Piven's been off the Hollywood scene ever since he smeared his parents with blood after cutting his chin slobbering his Emmy. What better comeback audience than the ladies of NU, who stood in line for hours outside Pick-Staiger in hopes of sitting within eyesight of TV's most famous asshole. How things have changed since his days in Mandy Moore vehicle Chasing Amy.
- In a brilliant tactical manuever worthy of recently departed "judicial affairs" "architect" Lupita Temiquel-McMillian, NU secures Stephen Colbert for its Hollywood-themed homecoming parade. Colbert, who works in New York covering Washington, probably thinks the theme is fine by his standard of "truthiness."
- Completing today's stories from the devo duo is a ditty from Vincent Bradshaw on a woman who is teaching seniors how to use the few
pennies they have left after social security checks, daiquiris and medicaid engage in epic melee to make Hungarian chicken using "dirt cheap" ingredients.
- Lest we forget the ill-begotten Forum, today's column returns the section to the wholesome perfection we first beheld this week with "American Dishwasher in Hong Kong." Writer Dan Kramer tried his best to rescue this drivel with spicy rhetoric, but fails. Miserably.
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