ANNALS OF RETARDATIONBizarre logic: Bridge collapse < Kevin Garnett?

Your honeymoon from NorthbyNorthwestern is over.

With a dispatch from the front lines of the Minneapolis bridge collapse, Josh Weinstock writes to inform us that other things are dealing "great blows to the North Star State." Heavens no!

What, pray tell, could so worsen an already terrible week for Minnesotans? Why, Kevin Garnett was traded to the Boston Celtics! And the Twins. "To add insult to injury," (nice cliche choice, Josh!) the beloved Twins are "mired in chaos and discontent." Were that baseball was always such a Euripedes play, and I might actually attend from time to time.

Remember headlines like, "Yeah, 9/11 sucked, but how about them Yankees!"? Yeah, that's what I thought.
[NorthbyNorthwestern]