BECAUSE DOWNTOWN IS PROZACIn brief: The Purple Line "Express" is saved! Sort of.

Rejoice, readers! The Chicago Transit Authority, last refuge of incompetent Daley hacks, has decided not to cancel the Purple Line Express. Instead, whether or not to run the Express will be a "daily decision" depending on the performance of the Red Line. That's right — when the Red Line is slow, that's when you'll have to take it.

Jesus.

All this nuance, of course, is lost on Bill Smith, wayward soul of wayward souls.

[EvanstonNow]
[Chicago Tribune]