From Tuesday's possibly-printed, rain-soaked editions:
Not only is your caffeine pricier, it's also deadlier when canned. Devo writers apparently can't withstand the scalding calefaction of coffee, instead choosing to rinse down the age-old beverage with gallons of pus-colored, candy-flavored energy drinks. And watch out now -- their convenience can kill ("Energy drinks contain no more caffeine than a cup of coffee, but they are easier to overdose on because of their convenience," according to two Weinberg sophs.) We'll skip the caffeine in a can, but we wish we'd been told two weeks ago about Starbucks, lads, when we heard about it in the Trib and in RedEye. We may have to return to CCI for another nickel!
In case you were in a mine cart beneath the surface of the Earth, we had hail last night.
Deep, deep within this idiotic polemic is the idea that our grandchildren will be migrating to Asia to find decent work due to our lounging in complacent jobs as "stock traders, marketing specialists and efficiency consultants." Dude! Global warming will totally have knocked us all off by then.
Somebody buy this Citywatch writer a dildo. Any more tantalizing screeds about the lonely phalluses -- excuse me, skyscrapers -- of downtown Evanston and we may gag ourselves.
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